Tuesday, March 5, 2013

You're welcome, me.

"If I help you, how will it benefit me?"

I can't say I've ever had that thought before -- or at least directly. There may have been few times in my life where it may have been a subconscious thought that never reached that exact question, purely on the basis of safety or my well-being. When I think back, there are a few times when the question could have been asked. Heck, it could have saved me from a lot of wasted time if that were the case. But, I didn't take it that way.

Lately, I have found myself in instances where I have felt like I the person on the other side of the question. I feel like I may as well have a sign hanging form my forehead that says "Help Wanted - Inquire Inside". Of course, this isn't a job and you probably won't make any money from it. So, you ask yourself the question, "How will this benefit me?"

I was raised with the answer of that question being, there is no answer to that question because you don't ask that question. And if you do, your answer should be, "...because I am a nice person" or "...they really need help". My grandfather on my dad's side is exactly that person. If I was broke down on the side of the road, three hours away, and if I called him telling him that, you can bet that he would be there as fast as he could. Granted, I am his grandson, but you get the point. My current roommate watched me struggle the first week I was in California with problem after problem. Ultimately, my truck stopped functioning like a vehicle. He knew me for less than a week and was gracious and humanly enough to lend me his second vehicle so I could get back and forth to work until I could fix my truck. It didn't benefit him beyond me being able to keep my job and keep paying rent. They both did it because they are nice people. Because I needed help.

If you didn't already know, California has treated me oddly. I won't go in to too much detail, but it has been a bit of a bumpy road and my off-road shocks were not installed. As I have been around the people here, listening to them talk, interact, and demonstrate, I have come to find that question arise without it being said. I think it is the nature of this place -- working as hard as you can so you can be successful. Cutthroat, I know. And really, there were some of those people back where I lived, too. It's about me. Not you. We may be friends, colleagues, acquaintances, but I am here for me. Only me.

Oh well. It's just my "grimm" outlook, right? (See what I did there?) I wish the world didn't act like it did sometimes -- especially lately. People are weird. Odd at best. But I guess the weirder you are, the more normal you are.

Guess I am pretty normal.